This is Matt with what will be the last update to my mom's blog. The last 5 days have had their ups and their downs, but the immense amount of support that has been received from family and friends has been a great blessing. We have decided to post the message that Dr. Delp delivered during the memorial service and the music that was performed. This is to allow anyone who wasn't at the service the oppotunity to read Dr. Delp's sermon and to hear the beautiful music that my mom personally requested the day before she passed.

The music that was played during the service was:

There are now two options to listen to the music. If one does not work please try the other option.

"On Eagle's Wings" by the Faith Westwood Chancel Choir

#1 - http://nielsen.matt.googlepages.com/02Track2.wma

#2 - http://jacqniel.googlegroups.com/web/02%20Track%202.wma?gda=AeOULD8AAAA_D0-ZaGXYe42nEca54aLYKneSjl0vjdZh2IXdOlTMa2G1qiJ7UbTIup-M2XPURDRFYFIBJFHU3Fop3AFHVoql

"I Can Only Imagine" by Jeff Anderson (Jacque's nephew)

#1 - http://nielsen.matt.googlepages.com/04Track4.wma

#2 - http://jacqniel.googlegroups.com/web/04%20Track%204.wma?gda=eZ90qj8AAAA_D0-ZaGXYe42nEca54aLYKneSjl0vjdZh2IXdOlTMa2G1qiJ7UbTIup-M2XPURDTK--kiTiYyP29dSOhjhMRU

"A House Is Not A Home" by Chad Stoner, accompanied by Jim Mertz

#1 - http://nielsen.matt.googlepages.com/06Track6.wma

#2 - http://jacqniel.googlegroups.com/web/06%20Track%206.wma?gda=XNMrQz8AAAA_D0-ZaGXYe42nEca54aLYKneSjl0vjdZh2IXdOlTMa2G1qiJ7UbTIup-M2XPURDQUz_DI0YshZZNQ8J9d1cbT

"Come To Jesus" by Diane Muir

#1 - http://nielsen.matt.googlepages.com/08Track8.wma

#2 - http://jacqniel.googlegroups.com/web/08%20Track%208.wma?gda=W86LVT8AAAA_D0-ZaGXYe42nEca54aLYKneSjl0vjdZh2IXdOlTMa2G1qiJ7UbTIup-M2XPURDQPj41J9yimTuHU23fISnBa

We would like to thank you all for sharing your stories, memories, and how much Jacque meant.

God Bless.

Update on time

The funeral will be at 3 PM on Sunday. The memorial service is still from 6-8 PM on Saturday. All directions can be found in the post below.

Again, we would all like to thank you all for your continuous prayers and support.

A Better Place...

This is Jacque's youngest son, Greg, checking in. I'm sorry to say that my mother passed away earlier this morning. Yesterday, the doctors discovered that her liver was failing, and they gave her two to four weeks. Over the night, her breathing became labored, and the doctors called us to come in at 5:30 this morning. She was able to hear us, and we were all able to say our goodbyes to her. She went peacefully with her family around her.

Her visitation will be at the Crosby-Kunold-Burket Funeral Home from 6pm to 8pm on saturday. Directions to the funeral home are Here

Her funeral will be on sunday afternoon at Faith Westwood United Methodist Church at 3pm. Directions to the church can be found Here

We would like to thank all of you for your continuous support and many prayers as she fought the battle of her life.

Still Mark

No chemo today due to low blood counts. Dr. Silverberg's P.A. indicated it might be time to switch treatments. We will meet with Dr. Silverberg next Monday to determine the next treatment options. Jacque will be meeting with a home health care consultant tomorrow to see what is available to help her move around the house a little easier during the day. We are watching the weather for Wed. night closely: Matt and Courtney will be driving in from St. Paul, MN. after school and work. The snow forecasts make us a little nervous. Hope you had a chance to enjoy some of today's 70 degree temperatures, it was very nice outside. Thanks to all who continue to support and pray for us.

Mark again

Jacque is home from the hospital. She is tired from her stay, and it is hard for her to talk due the meds she is taking. Please, no calls or drop in visits. She is saving her strength with a goal to enjoy Thanskgiving with friends and family. Chemo tomorrow is dependent on blood tests. We thank everyone for your continued support.

Mark Checking In

This is Mark checking in for Jacque. A trip in for fluids at the cancer center turned into a hospital visit and check-in. She is not up to writing her blog today. She had two transfusions of platelets today, and had her lung drained, and is quite tired. She is not supposed to talk much, so please hold back on calls and visits. Hopefully, she will feel better soon, and be able to come home this weekend. Thanks for your continued prayers.

I have had a busy day (thanks to the steroids). Mark is on vacation until Thursday - but had cut his hunting trip short due to circumstances with the hunt that weren't panning out. He was going to go ahead and head back to work today - but when the alarm went off this morning, decided one more day would be nice. It was truly nice for me, as Mark took me to Westroads, got a wheel chair and pushed me thru DSW to find some much needed shoes! He also ran me through Younkers where I grabbed a couple sweaters. I didn't try them on, so hopefully they work! But - Mark rocks!

We ran through Arby's on the way home from shopping and I got ANOTHER sandwich - of which I AGAIN ate half! I am not sure why those are tasting so yummy - but I figure - go for it!

Carolyn drove me to my podiatrist's appointment this afternoon and I got a gold star on my healing toes, so I won't need to go back. Yea!

Tonight, my dear PEO sister Martha is bringing by supper, so Mark and I can relax this afternoon and look forward to a nice home cooked meal.

My prayer request for all my prayer warriors is that my blood counts are good on Friday, that I stay 'healthy' until then and that the procedure to drain my lung is a success. I know I will feel so much better once I can breathe. Hugs to you all.

Puffer Fish

Woke up the same way I did Saturday - more unwanted purging - so Carolyn dropped me off at the Cancer Center so I could get fluids. I would really rather not get fluids - I already feel like a puffer fish from retaining water - and the infusion, of course, adds to that 'look'. Also, while the steroids make me feel better on the whole and give me back somewhat of an appetite - it also causes me to loose my voice and makes communicating difficult, at best. Another draw back is the two and a half to three hours of sitting in a chair while being infused. If my body would let me totally relax I could take a nap - but it won't, and when I am feeling punky I really don't want to visit on the phone or watch TV, so there I sit. OK, enough complaining - the bright side is, I DO feel better. Also, I ate an entire half of a Market Fresh Sandwich from Arby's for lunch! Yea! It tasted wonderful!



Tonight is PEO, and I won't be able to attend. I would LOVE to hear tonight's program - but, since I still don't have daylight savings time figured out, I am usually in bed by 8:00 reading and many times fast asleep by 8:15 - So PEO is definitely not on my to do list, yet. . Donna and Cindy are reporting on their trip to Africa, where Cindy is establishing a women's hospital. They have received so much support for this venture - it is truly heartwarming.

Grazing

Saturday was a real blah day. Extremely sleepy, nausea (and yes a little unwanted purging). I basically slept all day - and night. I have a bit more energy today, but food still doesn't sound all that wonderful. Carolyn has volunteered to go to the store and get me some 'grazing' items to make it through today, since an all out meal makes me shiver. Thanks, Carolyn.

Diane was going to take me shoe shopping on Saturday, but my body just didn't think it was a good idea. It would have been nice to get out of the house and enjoy some bff time, but we'll just have to hope for a good day this next week. I really do need some new light weight black tennies. I know Diane would bring shoes for me to try on, but I have such a weird foot - that would be a full time job!

Greg came over this morning to do a few things around the house for me. (Mark has been on his yearly pheasant hunting trip and comes back this evening. I am anxious to hear all the details of this male bonding ritual.) Greg has a busy day today - frat house clean up day (of which he is in charge, some type of board meeting, a parent pot luck (which unfortunately I won't be able to make :-( ), and then his regular Sunday night frat meeting. I appreciated his sharing a bit of his hectic day with me.

Repairs

Dr. T will be draining my lung a week from today, if the counts are good. He said it has filled up some more - which I was pretty sure of since I was so short of breath! Thanks for your prayers.

This is the first day since Monday's treatment I haven't slept the day away. A good sign I am sure.

Furnace guy out today to fix the humidifier - only to discover the heat pump isn't working - Yikes! The cost to cover the repairs is not a pretty number. The joys of home ownership. Sigh.

Busy Lazy Day

I have had as busy, lazy day. Busy in that both the clock guy was here to pick up the clock innards (didn't take the case - which I found interesting), and exterminator came today. Two planned items. BUT I also had a plumber, as our hot water heater was out. Tomorrow the furnace guy will be here to see why our humidifier isn't working. Sigh. Referring back to the beginning - lazy, because I have basically snoozed and rested all day.

Tomorrow I see my pulmonologist to see if he can help with my breathing issues. Last I heard, he is planning on draining my lung that never fully healed from the procedure I had done earlier this year. This won't take place until next week sometime - if my blood counts allow.

Clock Getting Repaired!

Mark decided to chip in some of his birthday money to help pay for the clock - so it is going to get done! Yea!

My new cleaning guy started today - the house looks great!

I am not feeling the best today. I am running a fever - probably from the flu shot, am achy and short of breath. Hopefully tomorrow things will calm down. I know for sure it will be an early to bed night as I have basically slept all day.

Dinner, Side Effects and Presents

Dear Donna brought dinner by last night. It is so nice, after sitting in that chair getting infused to come home knowing I don't have to even THINK about cooking. We did so appreciate it.

I made it through last night with NO side effects. Not so lucky today - but nothing horrible. I have the normal husky voice caused by the steroids and mid morning my hip began to act up. I have taken my heavy duty drugs, but so far they haven't seem to do much. Who knows - maybe it would be a lot worse without them. I have been icing the hip all afternoon, and this seems to help. One good thing is my body seems to have adjusted to the pain drugs so I am not totally wiped out when I take them. However, I still don't think I would get behind the wheel of a car - I would hate to cause an accident!

I am SO disappointed. Mark's birthday is today and he is terrible at giving good ideas for presents (other than his usual socks or underwear - boring) so I had the great idea of getting his grandfather's clock repaired! Speaking with the receptionist at the repair shop, it sounded like the repairs would be within my budget. I scheduled it for today and was going to just have it running and see how long it took until either he noticed it chiming or I couldn't stand it and told him. But NO - the repairs were three times what I had expected - needs full blown revamping of the gears. So, at least for today, all he gets is the paid receipt for the house call. :-(

Yea!

I was able to have chemo! Yea! It was touch and go - my counts weren't as high as they would have liked, but they went with a lower dose (1/3 less). I am glad, as I don't want to give this beasty any room to grow! I also received my flu shot, so the next couple of days will be interesting to see what kind of side effects I will have. Thanks to Carolyn for dropping me off and picking me up!

The Brabec's and O'Connor's were over last night and we enjoyed pizza, cherry pie and conversation. I was rather whimpy, but I still enjoyed listening and laughing. I hadn't thought about daylight savings time, and by 8:00 my body was longing to go to bed. Our dear friends had no problem letting me do just that. Luckily we had started at 5:00, so we still had a nice visit.

Pizza

I missed blogging yesterday as I was nursing a bladder infection and all the side effects I get with the antibiotics. Yuck. I didn't stray far from the couch, so there wasn't much to report, anyway.

Dinner at Famous Dave's on Friday night was tasty - even though I didn't taste very much of it. By the evening my appetite is shot - but I do graze most of the night in hopes my stomach will remain full enough to get me through the night.

This evening our friends the Brabecs and O'Connors are coming over for pizza. It has been quite awhile since we have gotten together as a group so it will be great getting caught up with everyone!

Tomorrow is my Gemzar treatment, if my counts are good. I will also be getting my flu shot, which always has it's own side effects for me, so I am not looking forward to that. However, I do so want to have the chemo so we can continue to stomp on the beast. Thanks for all your prayers. Oh, and thanks for all who have written me about special prayers that have been sent up on my behalf. You will never know how much they mean to me.

Resting

I spent the day resting so I could go out to eat tonight for Mark's birthday. His actual birthday is Tuesday, but Greg has to work and I might not be feeling the best, so we are going tonight.

I went all day with no need for my breakthrough pain meds! I will have them in my purse, just in case, but so far so good!

Have a lovely weekend!

Rested

Wow, we had the best Halloween turn out we have had in years! It wasn't anything outrageous, but I would guess at least 50! With a later Daylight Savings date this year we didn't see anyone until around 7:00. My friend and former teaching partner in crime, Melanie, her hubby Jay and brother in law stopped by with their kids - SO adorable. In the confusion, Brenna, Melanie's daugher, kept saying "Where is Miss Jacque?" over and over, and I had to go show her! I told her - I know I look different tonight (no makeup, stocking cap on my head) but her eyes lit up once she realized who I was. I wish I would have been awake enough to have thought to grab my camera! She is a beautiful, sweet little girl - and is a real prayer warrior!

I was exhausted last night. I had had two nights in a row of no sleep and napping during the day just hadn't happened. I finally went to bed at 8:30 and slept all night. I felt so much better this morning! However, I am still tired and have taken little cat naps off and on today. I switched to my lesser pain pill today and so far it has been enough. Hopefully it will continue and I will adjust to it!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!!!!!

True to my nature, I made the wonderful comfort food meal and then had to choke all but the taters and gravy down. What is with that? Hopefully, tonight's chili will have more appeal!

The side effects from the Aredia kicked in late afternoon yesterday and I suffered through body aches all night. Even my narcotics didn't seem to want to budge the pain. Everything settled down by this morning and I have kept on top of the pain meds, so hopefully I am due for a good night's rest. I should think it should start to dwindle and be gone by tomorrow afternoon (fingers crossed).

My biggest accomplishment today was driving myself to the store and getting the makings for the chili. I was pretty wiped out by the time I got home - Ladies and Gentlemen, steroids have left the building. I still feel pretty good, though, compared to the last few weeks, so I am not going to complain!

The chili is simmering on the stove and I need to go get the corn bread in the oven. We will lock the cats in the storage area and eat our chili in the great room while we wait for our trick or treaters to arrive. I am curious how many we will see this year!

New Shoes

I am riding the wave of my steroid high and enjoying it. I spent a quiet morning on the computer and watching TV (doing the minimal housework - emptying dishwasher and reloading), had lunch and waited for my shoes to arrive via UPS. I ordered some mule like, slip on, light weight tennies as all my shoes right now feel too heavy. It is hard to go shopping when you can't pick up your feet! I had also ordered a pair of casual pants and a pair of jeans in my new slimmer size. While it is nice to need smaller clothes, I don't particularly like how I have arrived there. I was thrilled as all fit great, so no returns and no need to keep looking!

Once my shoes arrived I went to Kohl's - I even drove myself! I was hoping to find another pair of pants in a different color like I ordered from Penney's, but Kohl's doesn't carry them in talls. A check of the shoe department for a similar pair of shoes on a different color was unsuccessful, too. Guess I will have to go to Penney's and hope the items weren't catalogue only. I could order again, but I hate the wait - I want immediate gratification.

I finished up my eventful day by stopping at Fareway to get one of their frozen cherry pies to keep on hand for Mark's birthday which is coming up (I may have mentioned this earlier when I made one for Carolyn's birthday). If you haven't ever tried one you are missing out. The brand is something like Village Peddler, or some such, but they are as close to home made as you are going to get with out making it yourself. They are pricey - $10 to $11 bucks, but are well worth it. I do a egg white wash on top, put on a crust protector and bake away. Mmmm -mmmmm - and I am not a pie eater!

Fareway also has awesome meat, so picked up a boneless turkey breast for supper. I am in the mood for comfort food. So in a bit I will peel some spuds, make gravy and green beans and wallow in the comfort.

No Chemo

Well, it finally happened. I wasn't able to do chemo today because my platelets are too low. This means I have to wait until next week. I realize, in the big scheme of things, it is not so bad. I should be use to not making plans, etc. but this inability to make even small future plans does get old. If I were truly able to plan I would, as I type, be sitting on a beach in Naples, Florida with my hubby and friends. But that was not meant to be. Don't worry, I am not going into a pity party - just saying how things are.

So, while I didn't have chemo, I did have the premeds, which always perk me up for a bit and the Aredia (bone strengthener). This will be a good week to see what type of side effects the Aredia gives me since that is really all I received. Dr. S gave me a prescription laxative and changed my breakthrough pain meds a bit, so hopefully things will improve on that 'end' (sorry, couldn't help myself).

I am also retaining fluids big time and was mad at myself when I realized I stretched out a new pair of shoes on Friday night when we went out to eat. Does anyone know if a shoe repair shop can 'un-stretch' leather? Dr. S also tweaked my diuretic, so hopefully my ankles and toes will soon return to normal. I should be able to stay out of the cancer clinic this week since I didn't have my treatment, so not receiving IV fluids three times in a week will surely help, too.

Dear Krista, friend and PEO sis, is bringing dinner by tonight. What great timing. Right now I am to the point that just about anything sounds good, but getting it made and on the table can be daunting. Where is Aunt Bea when you need her?

Tiny Post

A quick post to say all is fine, I was just so wiped out yesterday I slept most of it away. I will post more later after chemo.

Wonderful Night

I had a wonderful night. Dear Lois, a friend from church dropped off a meatloaf dinner to be cooked when we like (we like tonight :-) - thanks Lois). Mark and I WENT TO DINNER at China Buffet - my first official outing in almost a month! I was hungry for crab legs and I can also do the Mongolian grill to control my salt intake (this is where you create your own stir fry dish and put what oils and sauces you want on it and they cook it to order). We then came home and Steve and Diane stopped by for a visit as did Greg! It was a nice evening.

Of course, things can't always be rosy. I awoke to a major case of constipation. It was a pretty wild morning - but I successfully birthed a baby (or so it seemed). I then had to wait while my body cleansed itself of all the laxatives, etc. I was freezing cold (96 degree temp) and pretty miserable. Mark and Carolyn nursed me through it and I am starting to get some zip back. Of course, this set my spine and hip off, so it is back on the narcotics - which got me here in the first place. I am going to be more proactive this time and have my ducks in order with the help of Carolyn's expertise. Yuck! A gal from my discussion boards has a drug she takes for her bone mets pain that I am going to run past Dr. S. It is worth a try!

Mark spent a busy morning taking care of me, cleaning house and doing yard work. He is presently 'watching' the Husker game with the cat on his lap, chair back in recline and eyes closed. Good for him!

Nice 24 hours

What a nice 24 hours I have had. The fluids and steroids from yesterday kept me perkier than I have felt in some time. My PEO sis, Cherie, brought over a wonderful casserole that Mark, Carolyn and I enjoyed immensely for dinner. After a good night's sleep I was back at the cancer center this morning for more fluids and steroids (precautionary due to the weekend). Finally, I was visited by two fine ladies from my church, Vikki and Mitsy, who besides spending time talking, also gave me communion and healing /prayer/anointment. It was lovely.

The next round of chemo will be this Monday, if lab work looks good. Your prayers are apprciated!

Dehydrated

Well, it is a good thing I didn't hold my breath yesterday. By bedtime I was nauseated and vomiting. Spent the morning in Cancer center getting IV fluids, steroids and anti-nausea meds. Now I feel fairly well, again. I am going back tomorrow for more fluids in the morning - as a precaution. I am not sure how you can drink as many fluids as I do and still be dehydrated - but I manage - just talented, I guess :-)

Thanks

The pain medications have been a Godsend. Other than being tired from them, I feel fairly well. I also have very little appetite - but I force myself to nibble on something every few hours. I know this too shall pass. So far - no nausea problems. Hopefully this will continue, but I won't hold my breath until the week is done. Thanks to you all for your continued support!

Overall Pain

Day two of chemo and I felt great this morning. However, as the day wore on my bones began to ache and now I am having a hard time getting comfortable. I think this is chemo related, as it is pretty much all over my body, not just the hips. On a good note - no nausea or vomiting - yea!

I took my new pain pill yesterday and it really did the trick - no achiness all night. In fact, I skipped the second dose thinking I would just take it later in the day like yesterday. Wrong choice, I see now. Hopefully pill two will give me some relief and the first one has done nothing.

My dear friend, Diane, stopped by with delicious soup from Wheatfields and one of their little sandwiches I love. Of course, by the time she arrived the aches were taking over so I wasn't able to eat much, but it will taste good tonight or tomorrow. She also brought me some thank you notes - I was completely out! Hugs to you, Diane!

Round Two

Round two of Carbo/Gemzar is done. As usual, today is a not so bad day. I have an IV anti-nausea med as well as a steroid before they start the chemo to hold back side effects. Tomorrow will be the telling day. Last round I ended up at the Cancer Center getting fluids (and unfortunately the hospital). They have me on the books for fluids tomorrow, and I can decide in the morning if I want to go in or not. I have learned that fluids are a GOOD thing and to not fight them. I try to drink bunches of fluids, but it just never seems to be enough.

My hips have been dealing me fits. I can't sit in my comfy chair right now, as it just irritates them. I have been trying all types of pain relief to no avail. Today I start the big guns - ocycontin. I am not thrilled, but I am tired of not being able to sleep. Hopefully I can get it under control and back off a bit. The nurses seemed to think I could.

Dear Lord, Please get me through this week of side effects as gently as possible. I also pray that the new pain med will help at it's lowest dose.
Lord, please direct these drugs to the cancer and lay your loving hands on me to heal me. I also pray for increased energy, return of my appetite and easier breathing.
Thank you Lord for all the caring people in my life. I am boundlessly blessed. Amen

Patience

Matt headed back to Minneapolis before lunch. He had to swing by Des Moines to pick up Courtney who was having a girls weekend and attending a shower for a friend. It was great having him home!

Matt and Mark went to the UNO hockey game last night with Steve O and then met Courtney O and Kaitlin afterwards at a new brewery for some appetizers and a few beers.

I am not feeling well today. I am achy, short of breath and nauseous - not a good combo. Hopefully once I get through tomorrow's treatment and the week of side effects I will notice a big change. I certainly hope so! I was going to go to a PEO catered dinner tonight, but I knew it was not a good idea. Patience, Jacque, patience.

Closet

Dinner last night was delicious. Jaime, Greg's girlfriend, joined us and it was a very pleasant evening.

Matt helped me straighten my closet and change clothes from summer to winter. It is so nice to open the door and be able to find what I am looking for so easily. I have a few bags for Goodwill and much more room in there!

I am not feeling well today. My hips are aching and my stomach is a bit 'off'. I am sure it is signs that it is time for another treatment. I am not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to knocking out the cancer!

Birthday Dinner

I haven't accomplished near what I hoped today, but that is OK. Matt drove me to Fareway so I could purchase some items for my mother in law, Carolyn's, birthday dinner tonight. Fareway's meat is SO good. We are having New York strips - mmmmmmm.

No other news and I need to go start on dinner with a lot of help from Matt. :-)

Blood Work Better

Blood work looked pretty good. The platelets are on the rise, the red blood cells are high and the white blood cells are low. I have no idea what all that means, except I don't need a transfusion. I showed the nurse and PA my ingrown nail on my big toe and now I have a podiatrist appointment this afternoon. I have been complaining about this toe being sore for months, and all I have been told is 'Yea, your chemo does that to your toes'. Guess I should have been more vocal.

Matt will be here around dinner time. I am sure he will be tired after his long drive. He didn't leave Minneapolis until noon or so. He had some friends over last night and he had to clean up the house before he left.

Greg has a new part time job at Nebraska Furniture Mart in the warehouse! It is holiday temporary, with the hopes it goes into permanent after the holidays. I am so excited! Why, you might ask? Well, for those of you who don't know, NFM is a HUGE furniture, electronics, appliance megastore. It is an amusement park for adults who like to shop - and Greg will have a discount! Who Whoooo!

Tired Day

I am having a tired day. Part of it might be the dreary day.

My friend and PEO sis (and fellow church member), Becky, brought by some homemade veggie beef soup and Great Harvest bread this morning. It looks yummy and I plan on enjoying a bowl as soon as I post.

Matt has fall break starting on Thursday and is coming home for a long weekend. It will be nice to see him!

To answer Rosebud's question on yesterday's comments - I don't really 'clean' - like vacuuming or dusting - I just got rid of any piles that have accumulated (mail, magazines, etc.) so he could see what there was to clean. Plus, I really do like to keep my house that way as much as possible - but when I was feeling so punky the piles took over!

Feeling Better?

People keep asking if I feel better and I have to stop myself from saying no. I want 'feeling better' to mean feeling like I did before all these liver and new chemo issues started. BUT - if I think back to last week on Tuesday - heck YES I feel better!

Today I spent the morning straightening the house as I had a house cleaner coming over to give me a bid. Mark had done a nice job of cleaning over the weekend, but there were piles of stuff here and there and of course I want the house cleaner to think we live exemplary lives :-). I would go through a stack and then lay down. Make the bed and then lay down. Do another stack and lay down. Now the house looks presentable (albeit dusty - Mark hates to dust) and I have a new house cleaner!

Tonight our friends, Lori and Jeff, are bringing us supper - so kind. After my busy day I am happy to not have to worry about coming up with something to eat! I can tell it will be an early to bed night. I tried to stay up till 9:00 last night, but just couldn't do it - I hit the hay by 8:30 and zonked right out. Then the dryer buzzed, the cat catterwalled and the phone rang - and you guessed it - the edge was gone and I couldn't get back to sleep for quite awhile. That's life.

Lab Work

I had my blood work done today. My platelets are low - 54 - 150 to 400 is normal, but not low enough for a blood transfusion. Every thing else looks fairly good, considering. I go back on Thursday to have it checked again to make sure I am climbing, not descending. If they don't go back up I might have to postpone my Monday chemo - which I don't want to do. The nurse just encouraged me to eat and drink as much as I am able.

One small improvement today - I walked into the cancer center rather than riding in a wheelchair. I was a little tipsy, but I made it. Now this afternoon my hips and thigh bones are aching - probably from the 'exertion' of the morning walk. It is sad how quickly one's body can deteriorate! I took a little nap when I got home (20 minutes) and managed to get the dishwasher cleaned out and dishes put in. One small step for womankind.....

Blogger Friends

Mark drove me to my friend Melanie's home this morning so I could give her and her cousin Nikki (part of our blogger group) their 30th birthday presents. Stacey, from Florida, was there along with her twin sister (and I DO mean twin!). They and some of their friends had spent a girl's night out, first eating at Spezia's and then going over to the casinos, renting rooms, etc. We were to all meet at Melanie's home this morning for rolls and coffee, but I just didn't have the energy to stay to visit - but Mark was gracious enough to let us talk in the drive for a bit. It was a nice outing.

Still horrendously tired. Tomorrow I go for blood work and I won't be surprised if I learn my red blood count is down. This is such a weird tired. But I have the week to recoup so hope for daily continued improvement.

Slow Going

I have been able to eat today, albeit just small amounts. I made myself sit up in a chair, rather than laying on the couch all day as has been my habit, until around three when I took a little nap. My biggest accomplishment today was emptying the dishwasher and loading the breakfast dishes. But hey, that is much improved over just laying on the couch!

My dear friend, Diane, ran errands for me today, which was greatly appreciate! She also brought me some tasty soup from Wheatfield's!

Mark and Greg were given tickets to the Husker game in Lincoln by our friends Dave and Judy - so they drove down to watch the team get spanked - royally. I think they still had a good time, though. :-)

My but this recovery is slow going. I know my doctor said to be patient - it would take a couple of months, but SURELY he was kidding! Right? Time will tell.

Thanks to all for your kind messages in emails, cards and blog comments. They are all appreciated!

Fatigue

I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - but it is still quite a ways away. I was able to eat some breakfast - another good sign. Now if the fatigue would just subside, I would feel pretty good. Take care!

Icky Day

Today was not such a good day. Food has again lost it's appeal and I am achy still (but I am pretending it is better) and it is difficult to walk. Hopefully this too shall pass quickly.

So Far So Good

So far, so good. I am achy - I realize now from the bone strengthening drug they gave me yesterday. Before it got masked by the Neulasta shot. Otherwise, tummy is cooperating and I have forced myself to have two solid meals today. I have even poked around the house, straightening and laundry. Feels good to feel better. I pray that I will continue to gain strength and desire to do more things each day. There for awhile my only desire was to sleep and stare at the walls - pretty disconcerting!

Chil's Baby Back Ribs

My second installment of new chemo is over. So far, I don't feel any worse for the wear. Tomorrow will probably be the telling day - but who knows? My dear friend and neighbor, Carol, picked me up after my chemo (Mark took me over his lunch hour) to take me home and I do appreciate her willingness to help out.

I got home in time for supper, which was baby back ribs from Chili's. I have been craving ribs and I knew tonight would be a good 'eatin' night because of the IV steroids I get before my treatment. I ate a half rack of ribs, cinnamon apples and a slice of banana bread my friend Lois dropped off earlier. My tummy was quite distended, but nice and full! I often wake up in the middle of the night because I am empty - I just can't seem to eat enough to make it through the night. Hopefully tonight I won't have that problem!

Race for the Cure

I slept like a log last night. I think I would have slept solidly through had the cat not knocked a basket off the dresser. But even with that, I used the restroom and slept until 6:00 this morning. Heavenly!

Today was Race for the Cure, and it is a tradition for the Brabecs, O'Connors and Nielsens to walk in it every year. Then we take turns making brunch for after the walk. I obviously didn't make it to the walk, but my family swung back and picked me up and took me to brunch at the Brabec's home. Chris planned, shopped and cooked the entire meal himself - it was delicious! I spent a lot of time in an easy chair, and listened more than talked, but it was great to be out and about doing normal things.

I am far from being back to where I was a few weeks ago, but I am home - and that is worth a million dollars. I am still not in a visiting mode- visiting just wears me out (I napped after this morning's excursion) so appreciate your understanding. I need to get through this next chemo and I have no idea how I will react to tomorrow's treatment. Love and blessings to you all.

Hospital

A quick post to apologize for worrying everyone. I have been in the hospital due to complications of my cancer. I am home tonight -I begged to get out - as Matt and Courtney are visiting from Minneapolis, I figured I could feel yucky at home just as easily as at the hospital - and be a lot more comfortable.
I would prefer no phone calls or visits at this time - I am not the best company - but I will try to keep you up to date. Please don't think my not writing means I am worse - it is probably just I am not in the mood right now!
I will have chemo again on Monday, so as always - your prayers are appreciated!

Hanging in There

Asleep, awake. Asleep, awake. That is my life today. I am also not feeling the best, so will keep this short. I am hoping tomorrow will be better.

Received word that Pastor David Bronstad, of St. Michael's Lutheran Church died of prostate cancer. He was our pastor when we lived in northwest Omaha. He was a wonderful man and while he will be greatly missed, he left a wonderful legacy. He is also the father of a friend of our's daughters. My prayers to Erika and Kirsti - as well as all of his family.

Side Effects

My desire for easy side effects were dashed when I awoke at 2:30 this morning not feeling well. By 6:30 I was heaving and by 10:00 I was at my oncologists receiving fluids and anti-nausea medicines. My dear friend, Diane, drove me and then stopped and picked up my prescriptions and got some groceries for me. Thanks, Diane!

I do feel a bit better this afternoon, but it took some time for everything to kick in - but it did kick in.

Mark is back from his duck hunting trip to North Dakota. He got back around 4:00. He was feeling very guilty about being on his trip when I was feeling so poorly, but I told him I would have felt more guilty if he had missed his trip! It all worked out and he is home safe and sound. He had a great time.

Carbo/Gemzar

Hi dear family and friends. Thanks for every one's encouraging wishes via comments, emails, cards and phone calls.

I had my first round of Carbo and Gemzar - my new chemos, today. Dr. S doesn't think I will have any horrible side effects and my nurse agreed with him. Hopefully they are both right! He chose not to give me Aredia, the bone strengthener, this time so he could get a truer reading on how I was handling the new treatment. I also don't have to take Neulasta, unless future bloodwork says I need it. This combo, Carbo/Gemzar, usually plays havoc on platelets rather than white blood count. I am thankful to, hopefully, get a reprieve from Neulasta! I go in next Monday for the second treatment of Gemzar only and will get my Aredia at this time, too.

During my treatment I also get fluids, an anti-nausea medicine, and a steroid. These three things have given me a little vacation from the nausea and weakness this afternoon. I actually was able to go out to the mailbox and check the mail (which was late and not there, wouldn't you know) and grab the paper. I know this doesn't sound like much, but this morning I had to sit down in the middle of hanging up clothes to drip dry from the washing machine because I was so nauseous and weak feeling! Gotta love those drugs.

Is anyone else's allergies acting up? I feel like a gooey waterfall in cascading down the back of my throat. Yuck! Add to that the sneezing and runny nose and I am a poster child for allergies. I am sure this doesn't help my funky stomach!

Wish I had some fun news to report, but since I haven't traveled far from my comfy chair this last week, I don't have any stories. I am in fighting mode and appreciate your continued prayers as I try to knock this beasty to the ground! Charge!

Post Vacation

No new news. I am still feeling punk and getting very tired of it. I made a not so quick trip to the ER yesterday - an actual comedy of errors which I won't go into 'cause I just am not feeling up to it - but the good news is I was sent home (after about four hours at the hospital). Just wanted to make a quick post and say I will probably not post for a few days as I am just not up to it, so please don't worry. I just want to lay low and recoup. God is good.

Healthier heart

Went to my cardiologist's (Dr. Gangahar) today for my three month ecco cardiogram. She was thrilled with my heart, said it was perfect and looked like it was ready to take off and go (in a go way). My blood was WAY too thin, which explains my continually bloody nose and bruising. Dr. G's and Dr. S's office coordinated and she did bloodwork to see if they could figure out why I have been feeling so punky. I haven't heard on that, yet. She had the nurse do a laying, sitting, standing blood pressure and discovered it dropped rapidly when I stood up, so she cut back on my blood pressure meds. That is a good thing.

My appointment was suppose to be at 10:00, but after a long wait in the waiting room, tests, etc. it was after 1:00 when I left. I was feeling very light headed and a bit nauseous - I am sure from not eating anything. The sweet nurse gave me some crackers, but they were stale - which one doesn't need when one's tummy is already queasy. Luckily I had some pretzels in the car!

By the time I got home, all I could think about was having some lunch and resting. I had gone through Arbys' and grabbed one of their garden fresh salads. I couldn't eat it all, but it tasted good - I will save the rest for another meal. I don't usually do salads since it counter reacts with blood thinners, but I figured I was fine since my blood was too thin anyway! Gotta take the perks where you can find them!

Chemo Sooner

Well, my chemo reprieve has been withdrawn. Since I haven't been feeling well for quite some time, Dr. S thinks it best I get started on treatment, since my symptoms could be from the cancer. So, on Monday, I will have my first round. He thinks I will tolerate it very well. He said people usually have fatigue and constipation, but not nausea or hair loss. He did preface that with one 87 year old gal who recently ended up in the hospital within 24 hours because of massive diarrhea, but said that was highly unusual. I am hopeful that my body doesn't do anything weird and I can prove Dr. S right in his side effects prediction. As always, prayers.

New Chemo

Dr. Silverberg's office called yesterday afternoon to say he had decided on my next chemo. It will be Carboplatin and Gemzar. From what I can tell online, it will be a little rougher than what I was doing, but I could be wrong. Each person responds differently to treatment - so I guess I will just have to wait and see. The first treatment will be Oct. 8. I will receive both drugs on this day. Eight days later I will receive the Gemzar again. After this week I will have a week off and then start a new cycle. I have heard good things about this combo, so hope that it will eradicate the new spots while working on the old mets. Tricky business, this cancer fighting.

I went to school today for a special education dept. luncheon. We have a big department, so the staff signs up in groups to provide lunch. They are always so busy and spread out in the building, so it is nice now and then to sit and visit while enjoying good food. Today's theme was a football tailgating party complete with nachos, mini wienies, meatballs, enchiladas, salads and lots of desserts. My appetite, being what it is, didn't allow me to imbibe too much, but what I did have tasted good - and the company was even better!

I cut my visit short as I started to feel light headed, hot and had a bit of a tummy ache (could have been all the rich food I'm not use to). I headed home and rested for a bit and now feel a bit better. However, I am getting tired of this touchy stomach. I have decided to stop taking my antibiotics. I know you aren't suppose to stop antibiotics in the middle, but I feel worse instead of better, and since I was the prescribing 'doctor' I figure I can also choose to stop taking them.

One thing I am curious about with my new treatment plan has to do with hair. Now, I know that hair is the least of my worries, but it would sure be nice to have again. It has started to regrow in spite of my treatments (this happens sometimes in long term chemo - the follicles get use to the drugs). My eyebrows and eyelashes are also returning. One gal on my discussion board had just slight thinning with this combo, so maybe I will regain it! A girl can dream!

Early News

They say no news is good news. It stands to reason that early news is bad news. My wonderful oncologist (and I mean that sincerely - the wait is the worst) called me last night to tell me there was bad news. My cancer has now metastasized to my liver. Sigh. Not what I was hoping to hear. He said what was odd about it was the bones showed marked improvement (except for a new spot on my thigh) and my lungs and heart showed no new fluid. But then there was the liver......

Another problem was my tumor marker had quadrupled. This marker is an indication that the cancer is multiplying and on the move. Not what you want to hear.

OK, what does this mean? It means the chemo I was on is no longer effective. My onc wants to take a couple of days to decide how to proceed. He doesn't plan on starting the new chemo until Oct. 8, so he has time to do a little research and I have time to ask questions.

I again recommend to any of you who know someone who has breast cancer - newly diagnosed or metastatic - to check out breastcancer.org. This site has so much information, plus a discussion board of women (and men) from around the world who are dealing with breast cancer. Knowledge IS power!

Mark and I are handling this the best we can. I go from calm to full panic mode - but I know this will get 'easier' once a plan is in place and I know what to expect. A plan is always good, For now, I am going to rest and psych myself up for this new road I must head down. God is holding my hand - he will not let me stumble.

Fever BE GONE!

Yesterday wasn't so great health wise. My fever continued through the day, along with a queasy stomach and little appetite. I was bound and determined to get back to normal, so helped Mark make a nice dinner of steaks, bake potatoes and asparagus. I actually ate quite a bit, for me, and it tasted good. I took my antibiotic after dinner and then started experiencing a return to queasiness (I am thinking it was the antibiotic causing this). At bedtime I took my normal medications and promptly gagged and up they came along with part of supper. I felt extremely yucky.

However, I awoke with very little temp issues until just a bit ago when it started climbing, but that is an improvement over it being 24/7 like it has the last week. Perhaps this is just the bug's last hurrah before ditching my system for good. While I haven't eaten great amounts today, I haven't had any issues with it wanting to 'return to sender', either. So I feel strides have been made!

Here is a hint for anyone who has to have a CT scan. Usually they make you drink large quantities of barium - a nasty thick chalk like substance. I knew after my evening the night before there was no way I was going to keep it down - especially on the empty stomach that is required for the tests. So, I requested the 'clear' drink. I don't know what it is, but it tasted pretty much like water. I had to drink two large glasses of it - but it was a breeze compared to the barium! I am going to request that from now on!

The scans are over and the wait begins. Dr. S is very good about contacting his patients as soon as he has the info, so I know I will hear from him tomorrow sometime. I won't post until I have spoken with him. I have appreciated your prayers and have felt their support. Thank you.

Scans Tomorrow

I have decided I still have a bug working on me. I have started another antibiotic and hope this one does the trick. I am very tired of feeling useless.

Mark and Greg had a great time at the game yesterday - even though the Huskers didn't play much like a college team. They managed to squeak out a win - 41 - 40. Pretty sad. They stayed for the last play - something they don't usually do in an attempt to beat traffic. In the olden days you wouldn't need to stay since the Huskers would be so far ahead. Not sure when we will see those glory days again. Greg said the fans actually boo'd the Huskers after one play. Now THAT is bad!

Scans tomorrow - pray like crazy, please!

Still Blech

Perhaps I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - a rainbow after the storm. My desire to miraculously wake up this morning feeling close to my old self was short lived. Last night I slept very poorly, woke up early and felt rather blech all day. I have intermittently ran a low grade fever, and my appetite has not really returned - although I was able to eat a bit more for lunch than I have the rest of this week. I am just impatient.

Had breakfast this morning with Steve and Diane and our mutual friend, Betsy, from Pennsylvania. As always, we had a nice visit. I ate probably a third of my yogurt parfait and took my muffin home. Just couldn't get it down - but did eat it later in the morning. Silly stomach.

After breakfast I stopped at an estate sale of a friend's mom that Diane had volunteered to help with, but I didn't stay long - just felt like a weak kitten. Ok - I have had enough of this. Tomorrow has to be a better day!

Mark and Greg went to the Husker game in Lincoln, thanks to my sister in law's mom who has season tickets. It is a beautiful day, so I hope they are having fun.

No Charm in Food

Hopefully this will be the last day of side effects and I can start the climb out tomorrow. I do feel somewhat better today, but I am still just a blob and running a low grade fever. I have forced myself to do a few things around the house, but not nearly what needs to be done. I have also force fed myself - food does not have any charm right now. Not even a cookie or ice cream sound good. The only thing that really sounds good are things like pretzels and snack mix, but since I am suppose to still watch my salt intake I am trying to steer clear of those items. All I have to do is make it through today and things should be looking up. The Neulasta shot - I have to keep reminding myself what a miraculous drug it is and how fortunate I am that I get to take it. No, really. Really. REALLY! (Sorry, I'm trying to convince myself.)

Hippy

Live and learn. My hip was really singing all day yesterday and last night I could hardly stand it. When I went to bed I put a heating pad on it and took some Benadryl to try to get myself to relax and sleep. I had a toss and turn night and my hip just got worse instead of better. When I woke up this morning I had a revelation - hmmmm - maybe ice would be better. Put an icepack on it and it immediately started to relax and feel better. It is still not perfect, but it seems to be on the mend. Whew!

Carolyn is doing fine - had some tests done and waiting to hear from her doc. Hopefully she will be home soon.

My day has been very low key - still a bit under the weather - but I'm looking forward to having these side effects run their course so I can enjoy my two week chemo break. I am trying hard not to think of the scans on Monday - always a little disconcerting - but I know it will be good to get them over and done with.

Emergency Room

It has been a crazy day. My mother in law, Carolyn, is in the hospital. Poor thing has been miserable for days and it took two trips to the emergency room today to get them to do anything. She may have to have surgery tonight - waiting to hear. I had gone in with her to the emergency the first time, but when a gal came in coughing a hacking a light bulb went off in my slow brain and I realized an emergency room probably isn't where a girl with no immune system belonged. So I had to leave her there. They gave her a shot for pain and sent some medicine home, but the pain just got worse, so it was back to emergency. Again I had to leave her at the door. They ended up admitting her, but the last I spoke with her she was still in the emergency room waiting for an open room. I know she would appreciate prayers. Mark is up there now, and will stay if they decide to operate tonight.

I have been achy all day - and just out of sorts. Food has no appeal and I have been having to force food down. Yuck! I know that Neulasta shot is good for me (it will restore my immune system) but I DO hate the way it makes me feel. So between not feeling well and helping Carolyn I did not make it to my bible study tonight. The good news is that I should feel pretty darn good for next week's class!

My mom has an appointment next week with a new surgeon to see if she can get her knee fixed. More prayers, please!

Sorry this is a very uplifting post. Some days are like that.

Facial

I had a pleasant day. Mark's stepmom, Joyce, picked me up and we went to Regency for lunch (Paradise Bakery - yum). We went to some of the shops and dropped our rings at Borshiems to be cleaned (my how they sparkled). We then went to Gloss, a day spa, and had facials. A friend of mine (thanks Paula) had given me a gift certificate there. This was my first time to ever have a facial, and let me tell you, it was divine. It was like an hour long massage of your face, neck, shoulders and arms. You laid on a comfy bed, the room was surrounded in glowing candles, there was soft ''new age' type music playing and an ever so soft scent of incense. Heavenly.

I got home in time to reapply my eyebrows and eye liner (otherwise I look like Lord Voltamorts twin sister), take the delivery of our new treadmill, and then head out for my opthamologist's appointment. I am so glad I made it on time, as I had to SIT for 40 minutes to get back to a room and then had to SIT another 25 minutes waiting for the doc. As I felt my blood pressure rising, I finally decided to be more productive and closed my eyes and counted my blessings. By the time the doc arrived I was in a much better frame of mind. He said the surface of my eye looked improved, but since I was still having major symptoms, he wants me to use Restasis, an eyedrop that helps unblock the oil glands in the eye. I am also suppose to hot pack my eyes twice a day and scrub my eyes with baby shampoo, put lubricating drops in every two hours and a gel ointment in my eye at night. Riiiight.... I am not sure I want to give up my retirement for this full time job!

After the opthamologist's appointment I went to the oncologists to get my Neulasta shot. I didn't get there until 4:45 (because of the late opthomologist) and the desk was all flustered that I was there so 'late'. I had asked my nurse yesterday how late I could come and she said up to 6:15, so I thought I was fine. Oh well. Since it was so late, I decided to do take-out and ran by Boston Market for a rotisserie chicken dinner on my way home.

It is nice to feel well again - yeah, I know, not for long. But at least whatever was ailing me over the weekend and yesterday morning seems to be history, so now I can face the side effects unencumbered.

Only Lower Dose

I had a pleasant surprise today. I thought I would be getting the full round of chemo today, but instead I just received the lower dose Abraxane! So, that meant less time in the chair (an hour and a half compared to three and a half hours). Unfortunately, my white blood count was low, so I will have to go in for a Neulasta shot tomorrow. The hopes of not having to have the Neulasta shot is one of the things that made this lower dose regime look more palatable. (The Neulasta causes severe muscle aches, etc.) If I have to take it anyway ... Dr. S said it was a good thing I was taking an antibiotic, because of my blood count, he would have started me on one anyway for good measure.

Another pleasant surprise is I am going to get a short chemo break! Dr. S and I were talking about the Elton John concert - ends up we are both going to be attending it - and he said 'You don't want to feel yucky for the concert! Let's skip a week so you can feel good." Yea! So, I will get a week's hiatus. I am thrilled! Of course, this plan is dependent on how the tests come back - praying for good results!

I felt really nasty this morning. I would have some cramping and general feeling of blech. I seemed to be always on the verge of nausea, but never quite get there. By noon things had calmed down a bit and now I am feeling fairly well. I assume my antibiotics have kicked in - or what ever it was has run its course. I am hoping to feel even better tomorrow. A gal from church, Cheryl. invited me to join a class called Christian Believer that meets on Wednesday evenings. I had thought I would get back to choir, but my lungs just don't allow me to sing, yet, so thought this might be a nice alternative. Hence - I would really like to feel better for this class!

Strange weather this week. It was cool and fallish over the weekend, and back to summer now. The wind has been blowing up a storm today, and something (I think a rosebush) keeps knocking on the window in the living room. Now, you would think my mind would just say 'that's the wind', but each time it happens it makes me pause. The cat has found it disconcerting, too, and has to go check it out every now and then.

Mark isn't going to be home for supper tonight, so as I left chemo I called an order into Wheatfields. I ordered two turkey and Gouda butter buns - hold the tomato and lettuce - and a bowl of veggie soup. Picked my order up, got home and I got two turkey butter buns with tomato and lettuce - no Gouda. Sigh. By the way - those butter bun sandwiches are so good. It is is their dinner roll made into sandwiches. They have lots of varieties to choose from and they are only $2.00 a sandwich. The turkey is actual sliced roasted turkey - not just deli meat - yum!

Lazy Day

Another lazy day. Went to church this morning and have basically sat the rest of the day. I think I may have a bug of some kind working on me, so I will get my standing antibiotic filled and hopefully it will nip this in the bud. I just feel tired and a bit 'off' today.

Tomorrow is my next round of chemo. This time I will get the whole kit and caboodle - just a lower dose of the one. One week from tomorrow are my scans. I am toying with going back to the once every three week regime of chemo - but won't decide until I have done all four weeks of the present way - and have my scan results, of course. Your prayers for signs of shrinkage are appreciated!

Faux Fall

It is a crisp, cloudy faux fall day. Well, at least hopefully faux fall - or we are in for a long winter! The temp is a chilly 61 degrees and it is overcast - trying to rain. A great day for a nap - and football!

We are going to our friends' house tonight for dinner and the Nebraska Husker/USC game. We are to bring dessert, and I thought I would share with you a dessert that always tastes great in the fall - and is SO easy! All you need to do is purchase a box of Peppridge Farm Apple Dumplings (in the frozen dessert section at the store) and a carton of Cinnamon ice cream. Tonight, one half hour before we want to have dessert, I will pop them in the oven and serve them hot with a scoop of the ice cream. MMMmmm. I don't usually like fruit based desserts like this, but I do like these dumplings. They just say fall to me (and are SO easy!).

I made a decision about the gym yesterday. I have decided to purchase a treadmill rather than join the gym. I already have a recumbent bike and weights. As I drove to the gym the other day I thought about how excited I was going to be driving in the dead of winter when the roads were icy and I wasn't feeling particularly well. I have nothing against Wellbound, the gym I was considering. It is clean, with new equipment and friendly staff. I just feel this is a better option for me.

Enjoy the game all you out in Husker land! What do you non-Huskers have planned for tonight?

Ant Alert! None sighted today.

Perhaps the siege is over!

Caddyshack Time

Today's post will be short - not a lot going on today. I was so happy as I saw NO sign of ants this morning in the kitchen. So I scrubbed the counters down with bleach and got everything looking nice and sparkly clean. When Mark came home for lunch, I commented on the fact that the ants were gone - but as he was fixing his lunch one strolled across the counter -AAAKKKK!!!! I went in and found another - so, guess they are still around. When will they leave us alone! I am afraid I am going to go ballistic like the Bill Murray character, Carl Spackler, in Caddyshack when he blew up the golf course trying to get the gopher. Sigh....

Seems like today flew by - I can't believe it is already 7:00 in the evening! This morning I managed to fritter away time - I am not sure what I did other than a little laundry, but by the time I was showered and ready to head out of the house it was already 11:00! I went to Younkers to return a dress and turned some old clothes in for 20% off coupons (Goodwill Days) and found a couple of things on clearance for myself. By the time I was through shopping I was dragging, but I forced myself to go to the gym - and I do mean forced! I took it easy, but got my workout done and headed home for a little mid-afternoon nap.

This afternoon I attended the Millard Public Schools Transition Workshop meeting. I have been on this committee for years and was happy that the powers that be let me still sit in. I stopped by Sgt. Peffers to grab some spaghetti for supper and now I am typing my blog and hoping I can keep my eyes open until 9:00.

Side effects so far this week seem to be a hoarse throat, limited appetite and a tired body. My breathing has been so improved this week - I am thinking allergies and humidity were taking their toll.

It is almost the weekend, everyone!

To Lincoln

It has been a busy day for me! I headed to Lincoln this morning so I could go to my Mom's doctor's appointment with the surgeon that did a bypass on her knee last November - and who had referred her to the surgeon here in Omaha who refused to do her surgery. He was very kind and helpful and has given her two names of other surgeons he felt would do a good job and she also got a referral for a new internist. Hopefully all of these things will work out for her.

My brother, Bert, had picked Mom up (since I can no longer finagle her wheel chair nor push her long distances) so it gave he and I a chance to talk and catch up while Mom was having tests, etc. We had a late lunch in the hospital's cafeteria and then I headed home.

I made a few stops on the way home to return some items and pick up a few things at the grocery store before heading home - and I am TIRED! I had thought I would try to make it to choir practice tonight, but my voice is hoarse from chemo and allergies and I am so tired I don't know that I could concentrate on the songs. I don't plan on performing with the choir, yet, as I can't stand and sing (takes too much breath power), but I thought it might be good to exercise my lungs - plus I miss my choir! Maybe next week.

Diane and I went to a PEO sister, Becky's, jewelry party last night. Silpada, I think it is called. Very pretty silver jewelry. There were lots of other 'sisters' there, too, so it was a pleasant evening - and Becky had really outdone herself with her spread of goodies!

chemo #10

Chemo #10 is under my belt. Today I received just the pre-drugs and Abraxane. I will be interested in how this affects me. I don't know if I am going to like this regime, but time will tell. At least it was just a two hour infusion instead of the normal four hour one - a plus!

I have a roast in the oven for supper and it smells very good. My appetite has been rather weird this week, so hopefully it will taste good, too.

I am still having ant problems. My neighbor, Carol, emailed me after my last blog about the critters and said they use a product called Terro. You put it on a little piece of paper and then allow the ants to swarm all over it and take it back to the nest. It is so hard to just let those little buggers do their thing and not kill them. If they are still around tomorrow, I am going ballistic. I called the exterminator and got a bit of a run around. I had told her they were swarming all over one of my counters (they were just here to treat for this problem one week ago) and she said they couldn't come back so soon to retreat. I asked her what to do in the mean time and she made some comment about flying ants being hard to kill. I told her they weren't flying - they were just little house ants - and she went in this big song and dance how house ants don't swarm - only flying ants - yada, yada, yada. What? Who CARES? Excuse me? I told her I obviously wasn't a 'professional' and didn't know the right 'terminology' to use. She said they would come back out tomorrow to take care of them. I am hoping they are gone by tomorrow (because of my Terro usage) so I can call and cancel. They are sending the same guy from last time who stuck a screw driver inside our lightswitch cover and blew a circuit on our garbage disposal - not the brightest bulb on the earth.

Fall Is In The Air

It is cool outside and a light rain is falling. So different than just a few days ago! Fall is definitely in the air. The plants on the deck are starting to show the wear and tear of a hot summer and I am getting tired of caring for them. The tomato plants are still growing like weeds, but without the hot summer heat many of them will probably not make it to the table. Things are slowing down.

I made it to the gym today. I walked on the treadmill and rode the nu-step. I did dumbbells and stretches. Boring, but necessary. Sigh.

Tonight is PEO and we are initiating two new members. Hopefully the night won't go too late -but it will, of course, because of the initiation. Oh well. I can sleep tomorrow during my chemo treatment.

OPA!

This is day five after treatment - my normally worst day. So, you ask, how do I feel today? Well, compared to other 'day fives' pretty good! I feel a bit 'weird' around the edges - hard to explain - and a little tired and achy, but nothing I can't handle. So, do I think this is better than doing dose dense? The verdict is still out. I need to do the full four week cycle before I make a judgement call.

We went to Piccalo Pete's for supper (an Italian Steakhouse in an older part of town). We all ordered filets (small for the ladies and large for the guys) and got the soup, and mostacolli (or green beans) and salad, and potato - along with bread and real butter and crackers.....WAY to much food - but very tasty.



After dinner we headed down to the Greek Festival at the Louis and Clark Landing (an area along the Missouri River). OPA! The event was on the smallish side - with just a few tents of things to buy, Greek musicians with dancers, and a few things for kids to do. The big draw was the food. Oh - My - Goodness! I am glad we opted to eat elsewhere, as the line to the ONE tent they had set up for food had an almost two hour wait! Bad planning on their part. There was a dessert tent that we hit that had a short line - and the baklava and almond cake was tasty. There were very strange 'flies'? that kept bothering us, so we ended up leaving and going to Brewsky's where we could sit outside and enjoy the beautiful evening. Unfortunately, there was a large group there that had been there a while (if you get my drift) so it wasn't as peaceful as it could have been.

This morning I opted out of church (again - shame on me) because I just couldn't seem to get myself moving. I am sure it has to do with it being a 'day five' day. I did manage to get to the grocery store and drop some things at the Goodwill. Mark was a doll and scrubbed all the floors in the house for me - what a guy! I also cleaned the masterbath (except the floor, of course), so I wasn't a total blog today (but close to it). Mark then had me go downstairs with him to go through the storage room so he could get it organized. When Matt was home this summer he went through a lot of his boxes of memorabilia and 'treasures' but didn't seem to get everything put back and/or thrown away. Now things are tidy once more.

I am in dire need of going to the gym. I had every intention of going today, but my sore spine and achy body was enough to talk myself out of it. Tomorrow. I WILL go tomorrow!

Good Day Four

I have hung pretty close to home, just venturing out to get lunch for Mark and I during the Nebraska game (Go Big Red!). Otherwise, I just did a little around the house (very little) and took a nap. I feel good today - much better than a normal day four after chemo - just a bit tired. Tonight we are going out to supper and then we will probably walk around the Greek festival down by the river. It should be a beautiful night, weather wise. My only complaint, physically, is I have very tingly lungs. For a couple weeks now they have felt like they do when you are first getting a chest cold - with out the cold. I am not sure what is causing it, but it is distracting and a bit irritating. I will have to run this symptom past my doc at my treatment on Tuesday.

Have a super Saturday!

Hmmmmm

Hmmmm - normally by this afternoon I would begin feeling the side effects of my treatments. However, as of this writing, I am feeling fairly normal - or at least as normal as I feel these days. I do feel a bit tired, and did crash for a half hour or so this afternoon, but I will take tired over achy and the general feeling of yuck. Tomorrow and Sunday will be the real tests, as they are typically my 'worst days'. I know I can't count on every week being like this week, so I will hold off to make any judgements of whether this is better or worse than the old schedule. Time will tell. I do think many of my achy symptoms were brought on by the Neulasta shot, so I pray that my body will keep up with the manufacturing of white blood cells so I don't have to endure that again.

I have had a pretty uneventful day - quick trip to exchange some things for Mark at the hardware store, laundry, straightening, etc. I also worked a little on some projects for the Unlimited Possibilities board I am involved with.

The weather is quite nice today - when I went to the hardware store in the early afternoon it was still in the 70's! I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy!

Steroids and Ants

One good side effect of chemo is the steroid high you get the day after the treatment. I woke up feeling great, did many little things around the house (cleaning, changing out a new handle on the screen door, laundry), then headed to Wellbound to work out. Diane stopped by with some paperwork for the Race for the Cure and then I headed to the grocery store. I am now feeling like a nap would be wonderful, but since it is after 5:00, that would NOT be a good idea if I want to sleep tonight, so I will just have to keep on keeping on.

We are having a battle with little tiny ants. We hired an exterminator a few months back because the silverfish from our shake roof were winning the battle in our master bath and Carolyn was having ant issues in her apartment. He comes periodically to respray. However, this week the ants decided to show their ugly little heads in MY kitchen. One day I saw one or two. The next day three or four. The NEXT day - hundreds swarming out of my light switch by the kitchen sink. I immediately called the exterminator and he came out yesterday. Most of them are gone, but he said to expect to see a few for the next couple of weeks while the poison takes effect. YUCK! I thought once you hired a professional, the little buggers would stay away. I guess not.

Chemo # 9

I got a late start to my chemo appointment and then hit every stop light and construction delay possible. The cancer center parking lot was full and I had to sit in a long line to get into the overflow parking garage, then had to drive in circles to finally find a spot. Walked over to the center (no shuttles there at that time) and got to my lab appointment 15 minutes late. Had to sit for 15 minutes for them to draw lab work and another 15 minutes at my onc's office. Needless to say, I got a late start on my chemo. I got home around 4:00.

Dr. S and I discussed my side effects - he checked my balance - which is horrible, and asked about my neuropathy. He had me stand with my feet together, then put my arms up like I was sleep walking, and the close my eyes. Oh boy - couldn't do that very well. (Yesterday, when I was being assessed at Wellbound I couldn't stand on one foot for more than seven seconds! When did THAT happen?). I told him about my lack of appetite and general feeling of blah - and about taking the zpack and feeling better once I took it. He is going to call in two antibiotics for me take as I see fit, since he is sensing a pattern with my fevers, etc. He also checked in with me on the bleeding, etc. He said that next time I was going to have to start the once a week regime. I told him I would prefer to try it now, and he said that was fine. So, long story short - I am now on weekly infusions. My schedule will be:

Week 1 (today) Avastin, Aredia and lower dose Abraxane

Week 2 lower dose Abraxane

Week 3 lower dose Abraxane & Avastin

Week 4 Chemo Break

Start over the following week

Dr S said he can not guarantee that my side effects will be less, as each person reacts differently to chemo. He hopes I will still have good quality of living with this new regime. If I don't like how it effects me, I can go back to the dose dense version. My onc nurse said that most people who switch to the lesser dose do very well as his/her body is already use to the big whammy, so they just breeze through the lesser dose. I hope she is right!

Another plus for the lower dose version is that, at least for now, I don't have to have the Neulasta shot tomorrow (YEA!). It is the shot that helps the body make white blood cells. It's side effects are sore muscles, achy bones and fevers. Often, people on the lower dose can maintain their blood counts since they aren't being hit so hard. I pray that this is true for me! If my next lab shows I can't do this - they will start the shot again.

My next scans are set for September 24. I will receive a bone scan and a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. Time to start storming the heavens for great results. I would LOVE to see everything smaller, smaller, smaller - or even gone! Mmmmmm - sounds wonderful......

In Law Night

Mark's step mom, Joyce, her husband, Sam, and Mark's mom, Carolyn, had supper with us last evening. Joyce and Sam live in Mesa, AZ, and are the opposite of the NE snowbirds. They leave AZ in the summer when it is so ghastly hot and travel. I had Mark grill chicken hind quarters using a recipe I found on the internet. It was very tasty, but quite involved (using mop sauce every five minutes, turning, mopping, turning) so I don't think it will be high on his list of repeats any time soon. Mark took Sam on a ride in the Roadrunner after we ate. I hadn't realized that Sam is a HUGE car buff - having had 16 show cars in his lifetime, many of them that he built himself - street rods! Like Mark said - people tend to want the cars that were popular when they were teenagers.

I have had a fairly busy day. Joyce picked me up to go out to breakfast while Sam went golfing at Applewood. We ate at the new Wheatfields at Shadow Lake Towne Center - and they had great decaf coffee that I could enjoy! We also stopped at Kohl's so I could purchase some new towels for the master bath. It was a pleasant way to spend the morning.

At noon I headed to Wellbound, the new fitness center I am considering joining. As I suspected, I was a young whippersnapper compared to most, but it was clean and new and had very kind people working there. I enjoyed the atmosphere much more than Gold's gym. Gold's gym was full of sweaty, bulked up guys trying to impress people - or girls in skimpy outfits trying to impress the bulked up guys. Yuck.

This afternoon I have just rested and done more laundry - a never ending process it seems - even with just the two of us. It is now time to start supper - which will be easy since we have left overs from last night! Yea!

Labor Day

Mark and I went for a ride last night in the Road Runner. It was a beautiful evening. We stopped at the Dairy Queen and had a treat and then headed home. Mark then took Carolyn out for a ride while I picked tomatoes before it got dark.

Tonight, Mark's step mom and her husband are coming over for supper. We will grill chicken out and Mark's mom will bring a pie. Greg had thought he could make it, but he has a fraternity chapter meeting - so it will just be we 'old folks'.

Hopefully, Mark and I will have time this afternoon to go clothes shopping so we can take advantage of all the sales. It isn't often Mark is willing to shop - it is one of his LEAST favorite things to do!

We spoke with Matt last night, and he said school was going well. So far he is way ahead in his studies, as they are just reviewing. He said Courtney is enjoying her job and that the magazine she is working on has a regular section about patent law. Who knows - there might be some contacts for Matt derived from that!

Labor Day Weekend

We had a busy day yesterday, so I didn't get a post done. Sorry about that! I spent my morning baking a cake and making a fruit salad to take to the 'Anderson Picnic' in Lincoln while Mark went and rented a power rake, thatched the yard and mowed and caught the grass. Whew! He was a busy guy!

Mark, Greg and I headed for Lincoln around 10:30. We left earlier than needed because it was a UNL game day, the State Fair was taking place in Lincoln and there is major road construction between Omaha and there. We had a few times we had to slow down, but we did get there in good time. We stopped and picked up Mom at her apartment and headed to Bert and Janet's house. Bert's band, Hardwood Dash, had to play for Husker Nation (a University 'tailgate' like event) so he didn't get home until mid-afternoon. Alan and Liz were in the process of moving to their new house, so we didn't see them until mid-afternoon, either. But Ken and Sharon came from Kearney and my niece, Holly, and her family and my niece, Ginger, were there, too. We had a nice visit and we gals headed over to tour Al & Liz's new house while the guys watched the game on the big screen. The new house is very nice and Liz has been busy painting walls and cupboards, and I am sure she will be happy when it is they are all settled.

We hurried home from Lincoln in time to change clothes and head to Lazlo's to help celebrate our friend Chris's birthday. We were tickled that the owner, Jeremy, was there. What a nice guy. As usual, he made sure we were well taken care of and even found a waitress willing to sing happy birthday to Chris (they usually don't do that). Afterwards we headed out to the Brabec's house and sat on the deck - it was a lovely night. They live out in the country near the Platte River, and the moon was beautiful (again) as it came up over the horizon.

My appetite has really been off all this week and I just haven't felt well. Not anything I could put my finger on - just blech. Yesterday, I finally decided to take the z pack that I was going to take a few weeks back when I had a low grade fever and then didn't take when the fever went away on it's own. Now I think I should have probably taken it, as I felt better last night, and even better this morning.

It is odd when your appetite is gone. Nothing sounds good. Nothing tastes good. Last night I ordered a pork chop dinner at Lazlo's with soup and mashed potatoes. The soup was delicious and when the meal came out it looked wonderful. The chop looked more like a fat juicy steak! I took my first bite and the flavor was great - but then - the texture got in the way. To my mouth it had a squishy, fatty texture. I KNOW there was nothing wrong with it - but I could not convince my mouth. I had thought the potatoes would be plain mashed potatoes, but no, they were garlic potatoes. I use to LOVE garlic mashed potatoes - but that no longer is true - they are just too rich for my taste buds. So, my meal consisted of the soup, a peice of bread, and three bites each of potatoes and meat. Luckily, Jeremy sent a couple of desserts to our table so I had a few bites of strawberry shortcake. Sweets, fruit, dairy and bland starches seem to be the only thing that actually taste 'right' to me right now. There are times, though, that only veggies sound good and sweets curl my toes - so maybe, in the long run, it all evens out.

My next chemo treatment would have been tomorrow, but because of Labor Day I set it up for Tuesday. However, I received a call a week or so ago telling me I had to move it to Wednesday as Dr. S was going to be out of the office. I wasn't happy at the time, but now, considering how I have felt, it is probably a good thing. I have decided to request going to weekly treatments to see if I handle them a bit better. I have been visiting with other bcmet survivors online, and there aren't many out there receiving chemo every three weeks like I am. Most are doing it weekly with their main side effect being that they are tired for a day or two. I can take tired. The weekly doses are much smaller so, theoretically, don't do as much damage. Hopefully this will be true for me. I decided if I don't like how I feel on the weekly, I can always go back to the dose dense every three week regime.

Two days ago I had a little scare. My left hip became very painful - especially when trying to stand up from a sitting position. In the past it had been my right hip that has given me problems. If you are a person with mets every little ache and pain becomes blown up in your mind. Is it progression? Has the chemo stopped working? I have been very fortunate as my bone pain has been fairly minimal - usually just bothering me when I first lay down at night or when sitting too long - like on car trips. Add to this that my digestive system has been 'off' and I was nervous. However, after a good nights sleep the pain subsided quite a bit, and I remembered having bent down to get out my big kitchen aid mixer from the bottom shelf of the cupboard and thinking 'I probably shouldn't be doing this' as I felt a twinge. So, long story short, I am pretty sure the pain was a pulled muscle. Whew!

As always, I appreciate your prayers. Hope you are enjoying your long weekend!

Cupcakes

I spent yesterday afternoon making 4 dozen cupcakes. Some went to Mark's work, but most went with me to Millard South this afternoon. I visited my old classroom and shared the cupcakes. What a huge class! I met all the new freshman - who were all very sweet and so happy to see me, even if they didn't know me. It was wonderful seeing my old students, Melanie, and the new teacher, Abby. Melanie asked me to share my 'ghost stories' from when I was a kid (my brothers and I think we lived in a haunted house) as they were reading a book in their class that had a mysterious being in it. I asked if it would frighten any of the students to hear such a story, and two students chose to go to the middle room to play a game and not listen to the story. It was fun reliving the tale - hopefully none of the kids will have nightmares!

Linda, Donna, Martha

Jacque, Diane, Mary

I met up with 5 PEO sisters for dinner last night. The picture above is actually from the Luis Palau luncheon - but it was the same group of women. We took our friend Martha out to thank her for providing tickets for us to the LP luncheon. We ate at Spezia's - which is a wonderful Italian restaurant. The meal was delicious - and the company even better. Oh, and these were the same gals that put on the fabulous PEO tea last Sunday!

I had a lovely brunch today at La Peeps with my friend and neighbor, Carol. We are both going to be 'mothers of the grooms' next summer, so we had much to visit about. Carol has been doing a lot more research than I have and had some good tips. I was quite impressed with my meal - chicken crepes. I would highly recommend it! The portion was huge - and now I have breakfast or lunch for tomorrow!

2nd Blog Today - The Eyes Have It

I forgot to tell what I learned at my opthamology appointment yesterday. The good news is, there is no evidence of cancer or macular degeneration. My problems (dryness and poor vision) are being caused by extreme dry eyes due to the chemo.

What I have found out about tears and lubricating eyes is interesting. Our eyes do not only produce tears, but also a lubricating agent - an oily like substance. Drugs can diminish or stop the production of this lubricant. Without the lubricant, the eye becomes sticky and vision decreases. There are cases of people who have excessive tearing - which can also be a part of the dry eye syndrome - because the eye is producing tears, but no lubrication.

The doc said mine was a fairly severe case, and has put me on 4x a day steroid drops and liquid tears every two hours. Basically, I need to put something in my eye almost every hour. I am HORRIBLE at remembering to take medicines, etc, so this should be interesting. His plan is to get my eyes back in working condition and then putting me on a different drug - Restatsis. I look forward to that as it is just used twice a day - a bit more doable than the regime I am on right now. However, I already notice a difference with my vision, so it seems to be working!

The Graduate

Sandy - Exercise Physiologist, Elaine - Rehab Nurse, me, Karen - Rehab Nurse & George & Jill.

I am finished with Cardio Rehab and received my 'diploma'! I can't believe that I am finally done! Two people who started the class back when I began, Jill and George, came for my graduation. Wasn't that sweet? To thank the wonderful staff I brought up a rose in a vase and a Kahlua cake along with a poster I made on the computer that said:

Eat healthy!
Exercise!
Lower your stress!
Everything in moderation!
But always remember….. Life is short.
So don’t forget to smell the roses …
And eat cake!

I also have another picture to share with you - my blogger buddies! Stacey had this posted on her blog, so thought I would share it. This pic was taken at our brunch on Sunday. Nikki and I both decided to blink right when the pic was taken, but that's OK - we'll get another pic next time!

Stacey, Melanie, Nikki, Me

Moon

Today is going to be filled with appointments (eye doc and dentist) so thought I would blog early. I am hoping the opthomologist will be able to provide me with something to counteract the dryness caused by the chemo. Many times when I blink, my eye lid gets stuck and I end up having this weird sensation of lids that don't reopen at the same time. I worry that someone will think I am winking at them!

Did you see the moon last night? I was hugenormous! I had stopped at Shadow Lake Towne Center last night around 8:00 to run in a store quickly to grab something. As I pulled onto 72nd street the moon was hanging just above the field across the street. I swear it was the largest moon I had ever seen. It almost looked like you could have reached out and touched it. I had heard on the radio earlier in the day that there was going to be a complete eclipse of the moon - so perhaps this had something to do with how close it was to the earth, etc. Wow, was it beautiful. I wish I would have had my camera!

Last night I met Diane and her friend Denise for dinner at LaMesa. Diane and Denise met while doing chemo - they both are breast cancer survivors - and have continued their friendship, meeting every so often to catch up with each other. Denise wanted to meet me, so last night was the night! Her daughter is getting married in April, so we had more in common than just our similar health histories. It was a fun evening and it was great getting to know her.

Tomorrow is my last cardiac rehab day! I have to say I am a bit excited for it to be over. The only problem is, now I have to continue making sure I get a consistent cardio vascular workout on my own.

Brunch, Tea and Trophy

I had a fun, busy day yesterday! It started at brunch at Mimi's Cafe, where I finally met two of my blogger buddies face to face - along with my friend Melanie. These wonderful young women are cousin's of Melanie, and were also enticed into blogging by her - just like me! We have shared our ups and downs over the last months through our blog pages - so it was great to actually meet them in person.

After putting my feet up for a few minutes I headed over to the Oak Hills Country Club for the PEO tea that my chapter was hosting for Pam - a member of our chapter that is the new state PEO president. There was a big crowd that attended and the tea committee did an amazing job. The whole affair was beautiful and the committee made some delicious desserts - that were as good looking as they were tasty. One of our chapter members, Linda, who was on the tea committee, made a large portion of the goodies - and you would have thought a master pastry chef had made them. She had frosted brownies she cut into circles and decorated with frosting daisies, frosted star sugar cookies in white with a fairy dusting of eatable glitter, and strawberries dipped in white chocolate. I kid you not - absolutely perfect. I suggested to her she missed her calling (she is a fabulous teacher) but she said, no, that no one could afford her as she was too slow and too much of a perfectionist. She is amazing - but then I think all of that committee is pretty amazing. Another member, Mary, wrote a cute skit where she read about Pam's life while Diane held up products that coincided with some of the words (example: Pam 'pledged' to be true to PEO and a can of Pledge was held up). It was very cute, but the topper was when at the end of the skit our entire chapter held up old fashioned fans with Pam's picture on it (that Mary had made) in front of our faces when Mary said 'We are Pam's biggest fans'. That Mary - she is always coming up with unique and clever ideas. I am so proud of those gals - they did a great job!

When I got home from the tea, I was excited to find a trophy sitting on the kitchen counter! Mark's car received best of show MOPAR at the Millard Days Car Show! Pretty cool.

Leapin' Lizards!

Just a quick post in case you are interested in having a good belly laugh. This video on youtube just cracked me up - and notice, the host is former Omaha anchorman Michael Scott! Click here.

The Muscle Car Parade

It is absolutely gorgeous out today. The sun is shining and it is on the cooler side. Mmmm.

Mark and I got up early and took the Roadrunner out to breakfast. Then we came back home and Mark shined 'her' up and took off for the Millard Car Show. He met Steve where they thought the show was, couldn't find anyone else and drove around Millard looking for it. The Millard Days Parade was going on, and they finally asked someone at the parade start where the car show was - and, you guessed it - it is tomorrow. I can just envision the two of them driving around Millard - they had their own little parade with their two muscle cars.

Greg and I are going to go do some 'back to school' shopping today. His classes start Monday. I haven't talked to Matt yet, but know we will hear from him this weekend about how his first few days of law school went.

Tomorrow is a busy day - my blogger brunch in the morning and the PEO tea in the afternoon - so I am not sure if I will have the time or energy to blog. If not, I will be sure to post on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Unexpected Lunch Out

I went to Cardio Rehab this morning (my last day is next Wednesday, now) and came home prepared to just nestle in at home and do a few household chores. Instead, my friend Diane called to see if I wanted to go out for lunch. Well, of course I did! We went to Paradise Bakery and had their yummy roasted garlic tomato soup and then poked around a couple of shops at Regency. We then decided to go to Dillards to see if there were any good bargains on their clearance sale. It was a nice way to spend part of the day.

When I got home I called my friend Melanie to visit, since she was home with a sick kid. I got caught up on how things were going in her classroom (my old classroom) and got all our teacher talk out of the way. 'Out of the way?' you might query? Well, on Sunday morning, Melanie and I are going to meet two of her cousins, Stacey and Nikki, at Mimi's for brunch. We have become blogger buddies, and since Stacey is home from Florida we decided to meet in person! It will be fun putting living persona's in my mind instead of just pictures from their blogs.

It looks like we are going to get a break from the weather this weekend. Go enjoy the sunshine! (Or at least the clouds with no rain! :-)

Rain, Rain and More Rain

The weather in Omaha has been like a good share of the midwest as of late - rainy, rainy, rainy. I know all the vegetation is loving the rain, along with the nitrogen forming lightening, but I have to say I am getting just a bit tired of it. So far I have only spent one evening down in the basement waiting out a tornado warning, and other than high winds and downed trees that caused problems elsewhere in the city, we were spared. We had thought we might go to the last Jazz on the Green down at the Joslin tonight, but more storms are predicted, so we have opted to stay home.

I spoke with Matt and he said they had been having mega rain in Minneapolis. His first official day of law school is today. He has had to go other days this week, but for orientations, etc. He sounded excited to start. Courtney's first week of her new job has gone smoothly, other than she has a bad cold. Not a nice way to have to start!

Greg has been working at Interiors Construction (where Mark works) this summer as a laborer. Mark told me that Greg had to get his first stitches yesterday. He was throwing something into a dumpster and caught his arm on a piece of metal. Yikes! I guess he had 6 - 8 stitches. At least he only has a couple of days of work left before college starts up again.

My day has been uneventful. I cleaned out my computer area and got it all organized. It didn't take me long and it makes me wonder why I hadn't done it before. It looks SO much better. I need to go down and go through some boxes that I brought home from school, too. Maybe I will get to that yet this afternoon. I also got the balance sheet all ready for my old classroom account. I am certainly glad I didn't have to be an accountant - I am not very good at it! But it did feel good to get everything balanced and organized.

Now, I will end with the upside of being bald:

you don't wake up with bed head

rain, wind, humidity - no problem!

save money on haircuts/hair products

cool in the summer

never a bad hair day

Enjoy your day!

2nd Post Today

Had to share this fun site. See what song was a hit the day you were born!
http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm

Former Students

People with special needs can be so endearing. I went to visit some of my former students today who have moved to our district's Young Adult Program. This program is designed to provide age appropriate skills to students who are 18 thru 21, rather than continuing to serve them at the high school level. It leans heavily towards honing work skills and general life skills - it is a truly outstanding program. Anyway, I went there to have lunch with the students. There are many other students there from the other high schools, too - some I know their names, some I just know faces from the dances sponsored by the board I sit on.

After we ate, I continued to visit with one of my former students as she and another young man were working on stuffing a form in the front of a booklet. This young man was very talkative and friendly, and I remembered him from the dances. He said he remembered me too, but he said 'I thought I recognized you, but you must have got a haircut since I last saw you.' So sweet. I explained that the reason I had on the scarf was because I was having chemotherapy and had no hair. He asked what that was, so I explained as simply as I could that I had cancer and the chemotherapy drugs were put in my body to fight the cancer, but unfortunately it also fought my hair! He just smiled and said 'Oh'. I just wanted to hug him.

One of the things I love about working with this level student is how genuinely kind and friendly most of them are. They just want you to like them and are so eager to learn - even when it is difficult for them.

Once I left the Young Adult Program I decided to run to WalMart to get various and sundry things. As I stepped out of my car I noticed how dark the sky had become. I considered getting back in my car and heading home, since severe thunderstorms were predicted for this afternoon, but decided to go on in. About half way through the store there was a HUGE clap of thunder and the rain let loose. The noise of the rain on the tin roof was deafening. I don't know how the employees can stand it! Of course, I hadn't thought to grab my umbrella out of the trunk of my car, so I got to sprint through the downpour, throw my groceries in the back seat, put the cart away and then jump in my car soaked to the skin. Nice. I had a couple more stops to make before I could get home and change into something warm and dry. Brrrrrrr.

Tech Support

Went with my sister in law, Liz, to help her pick out furniture last night. Turns out she and Al selected a couch over the weekend, but she had other pieces she wanted to purchase. She bought a pretty entertainment center and a big overstuffed recliner that I am sure Al will totally enjoy. She special ordered everything, so it will be a couple of months before they come in, but it will be fun to see them once they arrive!

I have had a very productive morning! My former coworker, Melanie, had asked me to balance the classroom checkbook and get it prepared for the yearly audit. I was happy to do it, but just hadn't had the desire to tackle it until today. So, I have everything balanced and pretty much accounted for. Now all I need to do is an excel sheet to show the ebb and flow of the monies (now mind you - our little account rarely sees $300 in it, so this isn't high finance). Anyway, my new laptop doesn't have Microsoft Word - just Works, so many people's computers aren't compatible with it. This just drives me nuts whenever I want to share something - or even open old files from my old computer. I went online to look into purchasing the Word software and found out it has a $30.00 rebate right now - AND - I found out that Best Buy does in store rebates so I can purchase it for $30.00 off today and not have to wait for 15 weeks for the refund to come!!!!!! I think that is FANTASTIC! So, once I have this installed I can finish up my audit report for Melanie.

I managed to eek out enough energy to scrub the masterbath - it always feels good to get at least one major cleaning project done a day.

I also went online with HP tech support to have them fix a problem I have been having with my printer. I will install it, then a week or so later it has disappeared and won't work. I reinstall - and again - is gone in short order. VERY irritating. I did not want to call their tech support as I have found it beyond irritating (you get some person in India or some such place with poor English who doesn't understand your problem and keeps calling you 'mam' over and over and over.... ) So, I go online - and guess what? From the speech pattern I observed in their responses - I was back in India. It took over an hour to get the problem resolved and not without a little impatience on my part. The following is an excerpt from my second session I had online with a tech.

Myra: Welcome to HP Total Care for All-in-One Products. My name is Myra. How may I assist you today?
Jacque Nielsen: I have reinstalled my printer. I think there is a next step - all the info disappeared before I could make sure. (I provided her with my session number)
Myra: Could you please provide me couple of minutes to go through your previous chat session.
Jacque Nielsen: Yes
Myra: Thank you. (Seven minutes went by)
Myra: Jacque, thank you for being online.
Jacque Nielsen: Ok
Jacque Nielsen: Do I need to do anything else?
Myra: Have you resintalled the software after restarting the computer?
Jacque Nielsen: As I stated above - yes (can you hear me getting a bit pissy?)
Myra: Are you able to view the printer icon?
Jacque Nielsen: Yes
Myra: Good.
Jacque Nielsen: But I always can once i have installed it. Then in a week or two it is gone
Jacque Nielsen: I am hoping to avoid this.
Myra: I will help you in fixing this for ever.
Jacque Nielsen: Good - I have already done the initial fix. Is there anything else I need to do?
Myra: Please, follow the steps that i am providing you now.
Myra: 1) Click on the "Start Menu" icon on the bottom left corner of the screen , type .....
Nielsen: I HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jacque Nielsen: You were suppose to have been reviewing my last session. You would have known this. What were you doing for the seven minutes I sat and waited for you?
Myra, of course, totally ignored my crabbiness and told me what to do next - nicely of course. Hopefully the problem has been fixed - I will see in a week or two if my printer remains installed. I can't wait for my survey of services to come on my email - it won't be pretty.

Perkier

Things have perked up for me. I made it to cardiac rehab, and while I didn't go full force, I managed to finish all my exercises (albeit not at the normal intensity). I only have five more times there, and I have to admit I am looking forward to being done. I plan on trying out a new gym, Wellbound, designed for baby boomers and seniors that have expertise in working with people with heart and health issues. From the brochure I think I will be the cute chick the guys look at - pretty sad.

After my work out I came home and got some little chores done that I had been putting off and managed to sneak in a tiny nap. This afternoon I headed out to get my makeup and try on undergarments. I didn't find any u.g. that I liked, but did manage to purchase four v neck t-shirts to wear with my pj bottoms. I was just going to get two, but found out they were clearanced for under $5.00 each! Excellent!

Tonight, if the weather holds out (we are under a tornado watch) I will be going to Nebraska Furniture Mart with my sister-in-law, Liz. She and Al have just purchased a house and they want a new sofa. I always enjoy going to NFM - but I am sure Mark will be nervous thinking about me entering the doors.

Has anyone else noticed an increase in allergies lately? I never know if my extremely runny nose is from allergies, the chemo, not having nose hairs (it does make a difference - nothing to stop the flow) or what. I have been sneezing and my eyes have been dryer and stickier than they usually are. I have an opthomologist appointment next week to see if I can get some relief for my dry eyes and deteriorating vision because of the dryness. Maybe he can address my allergy question.

Stay cool and dry. It is going to be a wet week in Omaha!

Another Lazy Day

Went to church this morning. A 'small-group' of lay people provided the service as Pastor Doug was out of town. They did a wonderful job and I thought they had a good message - get involved with a small-group at the church! With churches getting bigger and bigger, these small groups minister to individuals and makes one feel like they truly belong and have a voice.

I have, again, been rather lazy today. My intent was to do some shopping this afternoon, but a little nap sounded better. I know the chemo is what makes me crave these naps, but they certainly cramp my style. I guess I should look at the bright side - I definitely save money napping instead of shopping! I need makeup - and all I have to do is run into the store that sells it and purchase it - so that is not so time consuming. However, I also need to go foundation shopping - new bras - (sorry guys - a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do) but this I know will take some time. Diane told me about a new shop at the new Shadow Lake Mall that has a wide selection so I hope to give it a try one of these days when shopping sounds better than napping.

Taste & Jazz

I seemed to rally yesterday afternoon, and while I didn't feel 100% normal (or at least what is my new normal) I felt OK. Mark and I went to dinner at Taste and then to the Rockbrook Village free outdoor concert. Steve Raybine, a local jazz musician with national recognition, was playing. Our friends, Chris and Bonnie, met us at the concert. Unfortunately, what started as a few scattered raindrops quickly became a steady rain. Even with umbrellas we were getting soaked. We finally opted out and walked over to the Garden Cafe for dessert.

Have you ever eaten at Taste? It is locally owned and is really quite good. There is the one at Rockbrook and another one that opened on 132nd & Dodge. It has retro decor and serves very unusual, but good, food. Last night Mark had the swordfish on rice with a mango salsa. I had the beef tenderloin kabobs on porcini pasta. Both were excellent. The portions are smaller(actually normal - but restaurants usually over size things), but the price is very affordable. Each of our meals was only $12.00. My appetite is not all that big these days so Mark was able to get full by eating his plus half of my meal. Actually, a guy might do well to order a double portion of the meat as the price is so reasonable it would still be in line with other restaurants. We also had the sweet potato fries with their aioli sauce as an appetizer. In all, it was a very good meal. Oh - it is on the Passport card, too - which means you get one meal free! If you eat out a lot, a Passport card can save you money - it is well worth it's price.

We don't have any huge plans today. Hopefully I can make myself go ride my exercise bike (OK, I WILL go ride my bike) and get a few things done around the house. I should probably run to the grocery store, too. So, with that in mind, I had best get busy. Have a great day!

Better Day

I am feeling better today. Not perfect, but better. I didn't go to cardiac rehab - just too tired. However, I did manage to do some ironing, ride my exercise bike and do a few things around the house. I find I have to push myself on days like today - and then I feel better. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

Blech

Nothing to report today of interest. I am feeling rather 'blech' and tired so have basically slept, read and sat. I am running a low grade fever and will probably call my doc tomorrow to get some antibiotics. I hope you are having a better day.

Frisk the 15th

I am going to try to remember to add this to my blog each month. This is a reminder to do your self breast examination - someone picked the 15th of each month - and I think that is a great idea. If you are over due for your mammogram - please schedule it tomorrow. Thanks!

Weary

Today is the spiral down. Went to cardiac rehab and had to quit exercising the last 10 minutes as I got dizzy. Came home and spent the rest of the morning running to the bathroom. I now just feel tired and weary. My eyes burn, my body aches. This too shall pass.

It looks like it could rain any minute, and the temperature tomorrow is suppose to be in the 80s with a lot less humidity. I am looking forward to that.

If you like ribs, the Ribfest is over in Council Bluffs this weekend. If you go, be sure to try the ribs at Johnson's and Rasta Joe's. Yum!

Another Post

This is my second post today. Wanted to share my pics of ideas for future hairstyles for when (if?) I ever get to stop chemo and grow hair again. I did this on ivillage - it was fun and made me giggle - quite a bit. Not only can you 'try on' new hair styles, but also makeup, glasses, headbands and hats. Thanks, Stacey, for putting this collage together for me!

Hints

Feeling pretty normal today - although I did not sleep well last night. Our PEO meeting ran later than usual - lots to discuss - so didn't get home until 10:30. I read in bed for an hour or so and then willed myself to sleep. Woke up this morning around 4:15 so read and then finally got up and made myself pancakes and an egg. I was hungry! I had eaten rather lightly yesterday, so I am sure that didn't help my sleep patterns either (along with the nap during chemo and the steroids they gave me).

Here are the hints that were shared at last night's meeting. Hope you find some that you can use!

Reynolds Slow Cooker Liners - lines crock-pot and keeps it clean. Store the box in your crock-pot so you remember to use it!

Daby - nail hardener. Works like a wonder. Get it on Ebay - around $8.00 - no shipping!!!! I use this product and have nice long nails - paint over the entire nail after polishing (not just on tips as directions say)

Folex - carpet stain remover - purchase at Lowes - takes up even old stains

Press and Seal - forms seal on dish when storing.

Tide to Go - takes stains off your clothes when you are away from home - works like magic!
Keep in your purse and one in your desk.

Cover Girl lipstick (not sure of the name) stays on all day

Greased Lightning - stain remover - great on grass stains and dirt stains.

Jewelry Cleaner - 1 cup warm water, 1 T ammonia, 2-3 drops Ivory Soap. Soak jewelry then use soft brush, rinse

Put rinds of watermelons/cantaloupe put in sack in freezer until garbage pick up day

Fels-Naphtha Bar - pre- treating stains on clothes. Purchase at grocery store

Bees Wax Furniture Polish - Cleaning Mart - 84th & Center

Use Shout to clean off door of refrigerator’s pebble finish

Soak casseroles with Cascade and it takes the baked on food off

Plastic food scrapers to take off baked on food on pots, pans and casseroles. Can be purchased at Bed Bath Beyond and most stores with kitchen supply areas. (Old time hint. Before you could purchase these we would make them from plastic milk cartons - cut a three inch square and round off the corners - works in a pinch)

Window Cleaner - Few drops of Dawn in water, rub with rag on glass and use a squeegee (purchased at Cleaning Mart) - to have streak free windows

Painting - use a garbage liner bag around tray and pour paint in. When done, dispose of the roller by grabbing it with liner to keep your hands clean. Put the roller in the pan and turn the bag inside out. Tie knot in the bag and throw all away.

Use a dryer sheet to ward off mosquitoes. Used dryer sheets can be used as a dusting cloth on TVs, Computer screens, etc.

To remove stains off of counters make paste with baking powder & lemon, put on stain, leave then wipe up. Stain is gone.

Sliders for moving furniture - put under legs and furniture even heavy furniture is easy to move. Can get at Lowes, Home Depot, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, etc.

Leave fabric softener sheets in car to keep it fresh

Strawberries - Use a straw to push up from the bottom to the top and it hulls the strawberry.

Mr. Clean Magic Erasers - great for cleaning the uncleanable. Counter tops, bath tubs, metal chairs, patio furniture, painted walls (not flat paint though)

Chemo #8

Chemo number 8 has been infused into my body. As normal, I feel fine today. The effects don't usually start hitting until Wednesday. Dr. S said if my side effects continue to worsen I may have to switch to getting chemo every week instead of every three weeks. He said that some people find that having a smaller dose lessens overall side effects. He stated we will reevaluate at my next infusion appointment (Sept. 4). I just don't want to be so tired all the time that all I want to do is sleep in my comfy chair - but then I also want to be able to walk (I had more muscle weakness after the last chemo) - so I guess I won't borrow trouble and just wait to see what transpires. One of the things I appreciate about Dr. S is how on top of things he is. When he mentioned the possibility of going to every week I told him I had wondered about that, as I had read about other ladies whose docs told them that every week was 30 to 44% more effective than the every three week regime I was getting. He said, yes, there had been one study that had reported that, but now it was generally felt that the lower dose once weekly was tolerated better and that all of the regimes were fairly equal as far as effectiveness.

Dr. S said he would order scans for me the end of September. He said he is happy with how I look and feels confident that we are on the right track. I request a copy of my blood work at each appointment and am happy to report that some things that you want the numbers to go down - have, and that others are stable. In fact one particular one is one point away from normal and it had been double what it should have been in March! Yea! By the way - Dr.
S was wearing his prosthesis today and appeared to be handling it quite well. After watching Mom learn to walk on hers I know how hard it is to reteach your mind to make it cooperate. Go Dr. S!

After thinking about Mom's problems with her surgeon, she will probably seek out a different doc. Who wants to go to someone that has 'pimped' her around like this doc? It is really disgusting if you get right down to it. I would LOVE it if she could find someone who would be able to go in, do a repair on it, and fill her up with antibiotics rather than what the other doc was going to do - which was to cut out the entire broken knee replacement and leave it out for 3 or more months to get rid of the infection, then go back in with a new knee replacement.

I have PEO tonight, and Joan is going to pick me up - which I really appreciate. I have to take my laptop along to take notes for tonight's program which is our own version of 'Hints from Heloise'. I will be sure to post all the hints that we receive. This should be fun!

2nd Post on Sunday

Hi! My friend Melanie asked me post the recipe for the Peach Praline Shortcake. Unfortunately, she won't be able to try it as it has nuts in it and she is allergic! Sorry Mel! Anyway - it is a good recipe - especially at this time of year when the peaches are so outstanding. Maybe you (Melanie) could make a small shortcake for yourself using brown sugar and just leave the nuts out and then make the regular praline version for everyone else?

Peach Praline Shortcake
Make peaches and sauce early in the day to allow peaches to form juice and sugar in sauce to dissolve. Take out of fridge one or two hours before serving to bring to room temperature.

Peaches
4 cups sliced peaches - sweetened
(Hint: to peel peaches, drop one by one in boiling water for a few seconds. Skin will skim right off. )

Sauce
1 cup sour cream
½ cup brown sugar packed
Blend together - remember to do this earlier in the day so sugar dissolves.

Shortcake
1 ½ cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp baking soda
½ cup brown sugar (packed)
1/3 cup shortening
½ cup coarsely chopped pecans
1 egg
¾ cup milk

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Grease round layer pan, 8x½”
Measure flour, baking powder, salt and soda into bowl. Cut in brown sugar and shortening thoroughly until mixture looks like meal. Stir in pecans. Combine egg and milk; stir into flour mixture just until blended. Pat into pan.
Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Split shortcake while warm. Fill and top with peaches. Top with sauce.

Relaxing Day

Not much to report today. Went to church this morning, grocery store this afternoon and that is pretty much it. The heat is oppressive - and it is hard for me to breathe outside. So, I have stayed inside - reading, sleeping computering (new word?), etc. Hope you have had a relaxing day, too.

Blogs

Part of the charm of reading people's blogs is being able to legally peer into the lives of others. Since I have started this blog I have added many blogs to my list that I check daily. I have quit putting links to them on my blog because they have become too numerous. I think what is particularly interesting are the different things that people eat or restaurants they go to. For instance, I now know that a bierock is similar to a runza, PeiWie's is an oriental restaurant and a fluffernutter is a sandwich made with peanut butter and marshmallow creme! So interesting - at least to me - but then I like reality shows like Little People Big World, or What Not To Wear, too (however, I DON'T like reality shows like Survivor or the Bachelor).

So far, it has been a pretty low key day. I have done a few things around the house - but not too much. I also went to the grocery store, read a few pages in a book and did some computer surfing for a future trip. I tried to go out and dead head the roses, but the heat chased me back in. I think this is just a resting day. Tonight we are going out to supper with our friends the Brabecs and O'Connors - and that is pretty much it for today.

Ribfest

Last night I got to experience A Fib once again. We were in Lincoln at the Ribfest in the sweltering heat. I am pretty sure I just over taxed my system. Everyone else was dripping sweat and I looked cool as a cucumber = not a good thing I realize now. The A Fib only lasted a few hours, with the help of my meds, so that is good. The Ribfest was great - even with the heat and heart problems. Every year we attend with my brother, Bert, and his wife, Janet. It is 'tradition!' (tradition!). As is also our tradition, Janet and I bought lotto tickets. I don't usually gamble, not because of any convictions, just because I am cheap. Anyway - I bought $10.00 worth of tickets, won $7.00 back plus got a spin on the prize wheel and won a rucksack - kind of a glorified duffle bag. All in all it was a successful trip.

My day has been non-descript. I went to Cardio rehab, came home and visited my blog friends and discussion board and kicked back for just a bit. This afternoon I tackled the kitchen and eating area's floor. I like to clean the floors on my hands and knees - it is just SO much cleaner that way. It took me a little longer than normal, but I managed to get it done. I did a quick vacuum of the living room and hallway and I feel like I have accomplished something today!

My friend, Lynne, is stopping by in a bit to drop off some paperbacks and to look through my stack of books to see if she wants to read any of them. Monday is my 8th chemo (yuck) so I need some good reading materials for my week of recovery. I am hoping that after my 9th chemo Dr. Silverberg will order more scans to make sure my chemo is still working. I feel like it is, but it is always nice to have that reassurance. Plus, if the scan shows improvement, it gives me hope that one of these months (years?) I can get off this harsh chemo and move on to something less toxic. If you are wanting a specific prayer for me - heading towards a long remission would be awesome!